Psilence is golden. But it's a priviledge. So people need to watch their fuckin mouths.....

3 people in my life have died in the last month. All too young, all beacuse of vehicles.

Corey Aldridge.
19 Years Old.
He was driving

Jenny Bohon.
19 Years Old.
She was riding.

Joshua Dowdell
18 Years Old.
I'm not sure.

Corey Aldridge. We went to church forever and ever. He was friends with my friends. He was a pretty cool guy. He just finished his first year in college. And yet, how hard is it to walk into First Baptist and not see him there the few times I check in at that church. How hard is it to look at Cole Andrews, who I always seemed to confuse with Corey. And realize, he's no longer there.

Jenny Bohon came to Hebron Christian School in 6th or 7th grade. Magneticism brought us together in 8th grade. We were closest in Pearson's Geometry class. Passing notes and doing goofy things. We shared Peter because the rest of our friends were still in Algebra. We also sat close when Shelton felt the need to alphabetize. Jenny was a best friend. MY biggest regret was not keeping touch when I went to MSMS. Now there's nothing I can say or do to bring her back. Her number is still in my phone, but I know if I call she won't be there.

Joshua. We met on Lanetra's facebook wall. He was a goofball but that was my bud. I always called him a grease spot because he had this picture of his body on facebook and it looked like he poured the whole bottle of Johnson Johnson Baby Oil on him. He was cocky, like most guys I happen to know, but he was so much fun. Today I wrote him a wall message and it killed me that he'll never write me back. It's not fair. He just finished high school.

So here I am. With tears past due sitting at the rims of my eyelashes. Here I am. Listening to Kirk Franklin hoping it's words would heal a broken heart. I wonder why all this is happening? I've never been the type to blame God for things but I'm wondering if God is trying to tell me something? Most of all, I am trying my hardest to appreciate those that are in my life now. I never want to regret not keeping in touch, telling them how much I love and appreciate them ever again.
And while my heart is broken, I know there are others that are suffering more than I am. To Corey's family, and Jenny's family, and Josh's family, my heart goes to each and every one of ya'll. These tears past due are partly for you. To everybody's friends, these tears past due are partly for you.
Really I try not to live in the past. So I love harder, I laugh longer, I dance wilder. So when all is said and done I've loved, laughed, and danced, with those that I love and I have to the best of my ability. And with these tears past due wiped off my eyelashes and poured into these words, I am done. RIP Corey, Jenny, and Josh. Love you guyz.

There are many types of people in this world.

There are the natural lovers. People who's first instinct is to love their friends, family, and lovers. Sometimes they get carried away and love them more than themselves. And when these people hurt them, and they finally realize the error of loving them, they pick up the pieces of their heart and vow never to love again. But they still do.

There are the stone cold people. They were lovers. Sometimes natural lovers. But now they have willingly caused their hearts to harden because of the pain they have experienced. I've tried oh so hard to be this person but it's not a part of my personality.

So you must be thinking And her point is? Well sometimes these stone cold people get to the natural lovers, and hurt them to the point that the natural lovers vow to never love again. And they work and work and work to come to a point where they immune to pain. They are immune to it because they won't allow themselves to be in situation where pain is a possibility. And when they become like this, they hurt others and it's all a vicious cycle.

Hurt people hurt people

I refuse to be a part of this cycle. I'm no different from everybody else. I've been hurt in the past. By friends, family, and boyfriends. But that's all I know how to do is love. If you take away my love I am nothing. The cheesy smile is gone, the glow in my eyes disappear, the spring in my step (yes I actually have a spring in my step I've been told I walk like a bunny) is no longer there.

I guess I'm pleading with everybody, don't make the past make your hearts hard. Some people turn to stone and wait for the "right person" to come warm it up. Why wait for somebody when you can do it yourself? I have seen too many people suffer cuz others are too selfish, too afraid of their pain to let them in. Think about what I said....God knows I don't speak seriously often....